How My 2 Year Old Taught Me the Value of the Platinum Rule
I was a strict vegetarian for 14 years, and had many times over sworn that I would “never” eat meat. That is, until I found myself 6 months pregnant, and severely anemic. The iron pills were no fun and despite my best efforts, my highly-sensitive pregnancy diet was just not cutting it. My midwife was pretty adamant that my body needed some high-quality heme iron (from animal sources, which provide highly efficient & absorbable iron vs. non-heme iron from vegetable sources that are not as well absorbed).
So after much internal turmoil, I convincing myself it was ONLY for the duration of my pregnancy, and dove right in to some organic, grass-fed filet mignon. And ooooh baby, talk about instant satisfaction! It was like my body was re-fueled and I was bursting with energy and vitality that had long-since been sapped. My husband, who is from Texas, likes to joke that his son was just asserting that he had his Daddy in him, and that my hippie ways weren’t going to be his way! 😉
While I still believe strongly in the benefits of a vegetarian/ vegan lifestyle (and will continue to largely follow), I have come to realize that I will probably continue to eat meat through my child-bearing years at least. All I can say is, it’s workin’ for me….for now (and possibly longer). What I do know with certainty, however, is that every time I say “I will never…”, I end up eating my words!!!
OK, let’s flash forward just over 2 years later. My son Kyan is OBSESSED with the movie Cars (which he has now seen twice, but somehow had the obsession long before ever seeing it). He has quite a collection of the cars, knows their names and carries a few of them with him at all times. So there we were standing in Kohl’s, looking for a new pair of shoes for him, and having no luck finding anything I liked in his size (yes I did say “I” ~ c’mon, I’m realistic that I only have so much longer to be in charge of his wardrobe!) 🙂
And then suddenly, he spotted them. A pair of shoes, out of their box, waaaay in the back …. with none other than the main character from Cars on the sides, Lightning McQueen himself. I quickly scanned the area and determined they were a lone straggling pair, and felt quite confident that the one pair left couldn’t possibly be in his size….. but no such luck of course! With Kyan jumping up and down in absolutely glee, I could do nothing but try the shoes on and resign myself to the fact that my son was asserting his independence and it might be time to let go. (sigh)
And then it happened.
Shoes now on, Kyan resumed his jumping and his delight multiplied in an instant. Wide-eyed and in utter disbelief, I glanced at my husband (who at this point is having a field day on my behalf!) as the shoes LIGHT UP in both the front and back with each jump. Now, as cool and fun as this may sound, you must know that pre-motherhood I had sworn up and down that I would NEVER put my child in those annoying flashy shoes! From my current vantage point, I really have absolutely no idea why, but suffice to say it was one of those things that for some reason just drove me crazy at the time!
Now, if we were playing by the Golden Rule here ~ do unto others as you would have done unto you ~ we’d have high-tailed it out of the store, because I’m quite clear that I won’t be donning flashing shoes anytime soon (well at least not on a daily basis! ;). But then again, the Golden Rule really pertains to moral and ethical issues….
So what are we to do in a situation like this, then?
Enter the Platinum Rule. Do unto others as they would do unto themselves, or put simply, treat others as THEY want to be treated (not as YOU want to be treated)!
An expression coined by Dr. Tony Alessandra, which requires listening and tuning in to others to determine their unique needs, wants and desires, and then doing your best to satisfy them accordingly. By doing so, you become a person of immense value and contribution, and in turn create highly productive relationships.
I love what it says on The Platinum Rule website in comparing the two rules: “Ah hah! What a difference. The Platinum Rule accommodates the feelings of others. The focus of relationships shifts from “this is what I want, so I’ll give everyone the same thing” to “let me first understand what they want and then I’ll give it to them.”
In essence, Dr. Alessandra has created a variation of the commonly studied sales tactic of understanding communication styles (a great passion of mine), and trademarked it with an intelligent evolution of the widely respected and lived by principle of the Golden Rule.
As a full-time network marketer, the Platinum Rule is the quintessential prospecting secret. All too often, eager newbie networkers jump into conversations thinking about THEIR needs (ie: making sure the person sees how knowledgeable they are, closing the deal, etc.) and repelling the prospect because they didn’t see what was in it for them. When we tune in to other people and truly serve THEM, doors open where there were no doors, and abundance and prosperity flourish.
It’s like my sons shoes. Despite my pre-motherhood “I would never….” rant, I didn’t hesitate for a second in buying those flashy Lightning McQueen shoes. One look at my sweet boy’s face and my heart was filled to brim! It was not at all about what I would do, but what would serve his happiness and our relationship.
And if you could have seen that first night home, it was absolutely magical! He was a little track star for hours, racing all around the house, jumping up and down and giggling nonstop. That is, until bedtime, when our non-tantrumy child threw the fit of his lifetime when he was not allowed to go to bed with the shoes on! Yeah, that one took a few days!
Unfortunately I didn’t break out the video camera that first day (sadly that happens sometimes when I’m caught up in the moment), but here’s a clip from the following morning that I hope you enjoy!
Kyan’s joy was my joy, and continues to be a month later as those shoes are his most prized possession. I know it will be a rough day when he outgrows them, but there will be another opportunity for an important life lesson in grieving, acceptance and letting go. Wish me luck! 😉
If you have a story of a time you said you’d “never” and then ate your words, please share in the comments, I’m sure this could make for a lively conversation!
“Never say never, for if you live long enough, chances are you will not be able to abide by its restrictions. Never is a long, undependable time, and life is too full of rich possibilities to have restrictions placed upon it.” ~ Gloria Swanson